Now it seems I should make signs for all kinds of things at work, starting with…

The Bathroom

You are not three years old anymore, nobody needs to see your poop. Please flush. 

Congratulations on pooping a big one. Now let’s see if you can flush.

If I find one more pube on the toilet seat, I’ll bake a cake and put it in. You like cake, right?

Please keep noise to a minimum. Some of us are trying to read.

Wash those hands! You know you want to. Seriously, do it.

If you’re taking a dump and I walk in, you might see me through the space between the stall door and the frame walking to a urinal. This is not the moment to ask me about project X. This is a bathroom, not a meeting place.

The Kitchenette

Please put your rotting food in the trash, don’t leave it in the fridge.

Hey! Let’s make a schedule so we can take turns washing the dish towels! It’s fun!

Clean the microwave (Sincerly, disappointed)

The Lab

Dear users, closing at 17:00 means you have to get your butt out of here BEFORE we lock the doors. I shouldn’t have to wait 15 minutes while you pack your stuff and leave. I have a wife and kids and they shouldn’t have to wait for me every single f*cking night.

These computers are for work-related purposes. Please do not ask the staff how to save LOLCATS to your usb key, how to submit a resume on a company website or how to register to an on-line dating service.

My Office

“Hello, are you busy” is a great way to start a conversation as you walk in. Sitting down and starting to talk as I’m typing on the keyboard – not so much. 

If you hear me talk, please assume that I’m on the phone and not that I’m totally crazy and just talking to myself. Refrain from popping your head in to explain that you thought I was talking to myself. I’m on the phone.

Please leave. Now. 

—————————————————

What about you? Any office notes worthy of passiveaggressivenotes.com? Let me know!

Unrelated: Anyone saw the last 2-3 minutes of Heroes? Looks like the show ran a little long and the PVR dod not catch the last few minutes…