Come on, get it out of your system… I can hear you say “that’s what she said” from here. 

What is really really hard is parenting other people’s kids. In fact, it’s not “really really hard”, it’s damn near impossible. Okay, it’s impossible. Parenting your own kid is hard enough as it is - I could give you a thousand examples of the situations that are making me lose my mind as a dad and even as a human being in general. I already wrote about how my son got shot in the park, I already asked you for advice about letting CutieDaughter get a Facebook account, I already told you about ripping the wings of butterflies, and of course I already told you that when it comes to my kids I’m a complete emotional mess.

As a dad, I get through those moments by thinking about the eventual benefits we’ll get as a family once we go through the crap. That is what keeps me going, and often a healthy dose of Whisky.

But when it comes to other people’s kids, there’s no real incentive to go through the crap with/for them because quite frankly the rewards would not be mine to enjoy anyways. I’m not saying that always prevents me from trying. I am a real softie at heart you know, and can’t stand the thought of giving up on anyone. Even kids that are mean to my kids.

In that spirit of not giving up on anyone, I spent about an hour chatting on Facebook with a friend of CutieDaughter.

A friend who basically spent an hour writing that my daughter was the biggest liar who ever lived, and also that she really missed her on Facebook since they were BFF. A friend who calls my house at 2am and hangs up when I pick up. A friend who made my daughter cry more times than I care to recall.

I give up.

Goodbye, friend.

At what point do you abdicate and concede that the bowl is too small? Never.

My son painted this.

“How can you know it was her last sleepover?” I hear you ask out loud in your office / living room / favorite coffee shop.

Because I’m not really a dumbass. I just comb my hair in  a certain way and that makes me LOOK like a dumbass.

“So how was your sleepover?” I asked.

“The girls had fun scaring me all night. They pretended that someone was at the front door, and was trying to get inside the house. In the end it was really funny, but I was a little scared.” She explained.

“How did they manage to do that?”

She then told me about the configuration on the house, and how one friend pretended to go to the bathroom but really went knocking at the front door instead, how they all went down the stairs but never went all the way to the door and ran back upstairs, where they called (pretended to call really) the girl’s dad , mom and brothers but no one would pick up their phone. It was all really scary but they soon admitted what they were doing and everything was fine. They had fun.

Except she never got to that point.

We were parked in the coffee place parking lot, waiting for LovelyWife to pick-up some tea for her office. I had tilted the rear view mirror, and was asking her about her night.

“So how was your sleepover?” I asked.

“The girls had fun scaring me all night. They pretended that someone was at the front door, and was trying to get inside the house. In the end it was really funny, but I was a little scared.” She explained.

“How did they manage to do that?”

She then told me about the configuration on the house, and how one friend pretended to go to the bathroom but really went knocking at the front door instead, how they all went down the stairs but never went all the way to the door and ran back upstairs, where they called (pretended to call really) the girl’s dad…

I made “WTF are you talking about?” with my eyes.

[Awkward Pause]

I said: “Did you know there wasn’t going to be any adult in the house for that sleepover? And why didn’t you call me when you realized you had no supervision?”

“I didn’t want to have to come back home.”

So because there were no adults present at the sleepover, but more importantly because Zoé knew it was wrong to not call me when she realized no adult was there, and mainly because she tried to pull a fast one on me, Zoé went to her last sleepover yesterday.

For a while.

For a long long while.

I’m going to have to find ways to rebuild that trust as fast as possible.  This is not going to be easy.

He’s turning ten. I love him.

Notice how the Angel is… uncomfortable.

You can see a few more pics on Flickr.

]]> http://lesombre.ca/2010/12/14/weekend-update-update/feed/ 6 http://lesombre.ca/2010/10/29/what-is-the-secret-to-15-years-of-marriage/ http://lesombre.ca/2010/10/29/what-is-the-secret-to-15-years-of-marriage/#comments Fri, 29 Oct 2010 04:33:58 +0000 LeSombre http://lesombre.ca/?p=4079 Continue reading →]]> A few days ago I wrote about my impending doom upcoming 15th wedding anniversary.

Robin asked: “What is the secret to 15 years of marriage?” To me it’s pretty easy:

We met when we were pretty young,

and went to a couple of costumed parties.

Moved in together and got a cat.

Had a few little mishaps,

Some of them a little more serious than others.

We graduated from the university,

and then got married.

I hit it off with my Favorite Mother In Law,

and also with my Favorite Father In Law.

LovelyWife was very happy.

Eventually we got pregnant,

had a daughter,

who looks just like her mom,

see what I mean?

Then we had a son,

who – thankfully – also looks like her mom.

We fed the kids,

they loved each other,

their mom made them laugh,

and sometimes bathed them.

The kids grew up loving each other (and juice),

we took vacations together,

and family pictures.

That’s it. The secret is that there’s no secret. But if I can offer one tiny insight into our life it would be this: we do everything passionately. We laugh, we fight, we cry, we love, we live. Passionately.

And if you asked my LovelyWife, she would probably say that the secret to 15 years of marriage is to never ever under any circumstances post pictures of your pregnant wife on the Internet.

And she’d be pretty passionate about it too.

]]> http://lesombre.ca/2010/10/29/what-is-the-secret-to-15-years-of-marriage/feed/ 21 http://lesombre.ca/2010/09/01/ticket-to-ride/ http://lesombre.ca/2010/09/01/ticket-to-ride/#comments Wed, 01 Sep 2010 13:34:54 +0000 LeSombre http://lesombre.ca/?p=3856 Continue reading →]]> Everyone remembers this post, right?

Oh wait. I just looked and only TWO of you commented on that brilliant post. What gives? I’ll give you a minute to read the other post, comment and come back here.

All right, moving along.

Yesterday was CutieDaughter’s first full day of school. LovelyWife dropped her at school in the morning – that backpack was so heavy I almost couldn’t lift it! – and she was to take the bus to get back home at night.

The bus ride is very short. Provided you don’t forget to get off the bus at some point.

Click to embiggify

• Green is CutieDaughter school
• Red is our house.
• Pink is where she got off.

This one shows the bus route.

Click to embiggify

• Green is CutieDaughter school
• Red is our house.
• Pink is where she got off.

Now if there was ever a doubt that CutieDaughter is LovelyWife’s blood…

BIG BROTHER was not on because of the Emmys. I haz another sad.

CHELSEA. We went to the old Chelsea Market to get fresh veggies over the weekend. We got there a little late, but it was okay. We’ll go earlier next week.

DRUNKS kept me up awake sunday morning from 3am to 5am. If they do that again next week, I might get angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

EMMYS. I watched the Emmys while reading comments on Twitter. It was missing “Shiny’s made up facts about the Emmys” like we had during the Olympics. How cool was that?

FLYING in! Friends of ours we haven’t seen in a while are flying in at the end of September. I sense some time off coming…

GNOCCHI (home made) were made on Friday night. That sh*t takes a long time to make, let me tell you.

HBO. After watching previously mentionned Emmys, I realized that I need to get HBO.

I’LL BE BACK! I got sucked into a Schwarzenegger marathon on Sunday.

JEWEL. Is it just me or does Jewel looks like she’s not all there when she sings? I mean she looks like her hair caught on fire when she was little and they extinguished the fire by hitting it with a shovel. I loved her so much in Firefly.

KIDS are sad the summer is over.

LAWN needs to be mowed.

MOM is back home. I’m amazed at the miracles of modern medecine. Of course, it might just be all the gnocchi I made.

NAP. LovelyWife took a 3-hour nap on Sunday.

OUTDOOR activity: We hiked around Pink Lake. Pictures to follow.

PLATES were bought. We’ve been looking for rectangular plates for a while, and managed to find some. Sweet!

QUIET. I need to find a quieter computer, as my home computer’s HDD is making a noise that reminds me of a blender on pulse. This does not look good. I’m half kidding, all my data is on an external HDD, so if the computer dies, I just need to reinstall the OS.

ROULETTE Scotch glasses. I like them. A lot.

SOFT. I gained some weight while on vacation. Time to do something about it. I downloaded the C25K App. Gotta start running now. Or tomorrow. Tommorow-ish.

T-FAL frying machine. We finally got one and made awesome French Fries with mussels on Saturday night. This machine uses next to no oil, so I don’t have to feel too bad if I get some French Fries from time to time.

USED. My living room chair was delivered two weeks early (Yay!) but is broken (Boo!). The frame is crooked. I suspect this was a return of a used chair, as mine was supposed to be built today and delivered on the 16th.

VERDICCHIO. The wine we had with the mussel was delicious.

WTF? I went back to the furniture store to ask for a chair repair/replacement, and the manager started by offering me 10$ to “buy some washers at the Home Depot” to “Even out the legs”. I was not impressed, and told him so. If I’m paying 600$ for a chair, it will not look like ass the day I get it.

X-MAS. Less than four months before X-Mas. start shopping people! Don’t complain to me on December 23 that I didn’t warn you early enough.

YIKES! Zoé is starting High School today.

ZOÉ is starting High School today.

This is my family tree. Well, just my side of the family.

All my grand-parents are dead. For years now, Death has been hovering just above my parent’s level. Like this.

As soon as Death claims someone at a lower level, each Zone shifts down, and the reaction of people learning about a person’s death change accordingly. For example, if one of my kids was to die today, it would be tragic. If I was to die today, it would be unexpected.

So my mom’s in the hospital. As you’re reading this she is under the knife for a second angioplasty following her second, third and fourth heart attack in the last six months. Death is slowly creeping it’s way down. I don’t want Death to shift down.

Not because I’m afraid to be Next in line. Because I don’t want my kids to get to the Unexpected zone just yet.

With twelve comes great power, and we all know that with great power comes great responsibilities.

Ah superheroes, is there anything they can’t teach us?

We’re sitting at the table this morning – having breakfast – and CutieDaughter says:

CD: “I know what I want for my birthday…”

Me: “What do you want for your birthday?”

CD: “…”

Me: “That’s a really good strategy you know. By not telling me, you’re pretty much guaranteed not to get it. I’m guessing you want some carrots for your birthday. Done!”

CD: “I don’t want carrots for my birthday!”

(This goes on for a little while)

CD: “I want a cell phone for my birthday.”

Me: “What would you do with a cell phone?”

CD: “Well, I’ll be twelve, and I’ll have a lot of babysitting jobs, so I will definitely need a cell phone…”

I’m guessing she’ll say “In case of an emergency”, and I’m kinda proud of CutieDaugher for being so responsible. So at this point in my head, I’ve already got her a cell phone.

CD: “…so I can call you to come pick me up when I’m done babysitting.”

LW: “Hahahahahaha!”

AudaciousSon pipes up.

AS: “Me too! I want a cell phone!”

CD: “There’s no way you’re getting a cell phone at NINE mister! You already have a better iPod than mine!”

AS: “All right, if I can’t get a cell phone, I want a grappling hook.”

Ah superheroes, is there anything they can’t teach us?