I get a whole bunch of spam comments around here. Most of the time, I just delete the comments after going through them – I blame my OCD but it helps me catch a few of real comments in there, yes I’m looking at you Ren by the way.

Anyways, spammers are getting craftier by the day.

Some appeal to my love of dumb questions:

Why is a square meal served on round plates?
from Affiliate Network, on “The one that sends Child Services to my house*”

It would be too hard to eat the meal if it was under a round plate.

That’s So COOL…who knew ?
from Education, on “Diptych – Bold“

Well, not you that’s for sure.

Some appeal to my know-it-all side:

I’m looking for 3d animation software programs without breaking the bank. I’ve come across maya, 3dmax and 3dmagix so far Whos got a review for 3dmagix? I’m into cartoon animation so which program is suitable for me? Jeffrey D
from raffaelo, on “Hey look who’s posting around 23h30*“

I don’t know. Damn.

Most appeal to my vanity:

I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.
from generic viagra levitra generic cialis pills on “The one that sends Child Services to my house*“

You’re my new BFF.

Really like this post, thanks for writing.
from hib bathroom mirrors, on “Blackmail“

I’ll hook you up with my CutieDaughter, Son.

Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
from cheapest generic cialis, on “I am not from around here“

In Russia, pleasure reads you.

Super information,I have Digged this site to my seo list for future and will keep a eye on your other posts.
from ubotstudio, on “Regenerating… 25%“

Well, I do write timeless pieces. I posted this one in November 2008

Some want to “contribute” nudge-nudge wink-wink:

hey this blog is great. I’m glad I came by this blog. Maybe I can contribute in the near future. PM ME on Yahoo AmandaLovesYou702
from Cherrie Jahosky, on “They Keep Killing Suzie“

Bow-chicka-Wow-wow!

hey this blog is great. I’m glad I came by this blog. Maybe I can contribute in the near future. PM ME on Yahoo AmandaLovesYou702
from George Sester, on “They Keep Killing Suzie“

WTF? Is Amanda a girl or a guy? Aaaargh! Oh, those are actually for the Author, so it’s all good for me. Dodged that bullet.

Of course, some don’t try at all:

ocljlwijlmcds
from ocljlwijlmcds on “Wonder More“

I mean really? You just write your name as a comment? Lame.

And finally, some try way too hard:

Thanks for posting this article. I’m definitely frustrated with struggling to search out relevant and brilliant commentary on this subject. Everybody now goes to the very far extremes to either drive home their viewpoint that either: everyone else in the planet is wrong, or two that everyone but them does not really understand the situation. Many thanks for your succinct, applicable insight.
from pub height dining set, on “’stache“

That’s right. I am the expert on sticking a mustache on a cow.

So, it’s March break at The Abode.

That means I’m “babysitting” my kids and a friend’s kids today. w00t!

So here’s my plan:

Fill them up with espresso, and have them clean the whole house!

I’m taking back March Break bitches!

*Please don’t send Child Services to my house. The espresso pictures were staged – nobody touches my espresso! But they’ll still clean the house.

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but last week my good buddy Dave2 called me a pussy. It’s all over the InterSphereTubes. Really.

Ever since that happened, I’ve been looking at ways to get back at him, and I explored many different options.

One was to do a video of timbagging, (a spoof on teabagging, except I would put Timbits in my mouth), but I thought that would make me look a lot pussier than already implied. Another one was to draw a map of the USA and add cutsy little graphics on top, but it’s already been done in a brilliant way. I thought about showing you how I beat Wayne Gretzky and stole his Olympic torch to play some air guitar:

Take that Wayne! Rock on!

But meh. He is the great one, but he’s no LeSombre, if you know what I mean.

Finally, I had it. Instead of proving that Canadian are manlier than Usians,  why don’t I simply show that the Usians are far bigger pussies than Canadians? That is the American way, yes?

So without furter ado, video proof that Usians are responsible for the pussification of America:

Proof #1

Usians “shopping”

Proof #2

Usians at the Mall. They have nothing on Robin Sparkles.

Incidentally, I do believe these are also Dave2’s worst nightmares. Enjoy your sleepless nights, sir.

I also believe that makes us even.

First thing first: Today is Avitable’s birthday. Way back when, Hilly tricked me into believing that it was Adam’s Birthday when it wasn’t. But today I’m pretty sure it is Adam’s birthday. So go over there and wish Avitable the bestest birthday wishes ever. Doooooooooo it. Then come back and read the rest of this post. Please?

Thank you.

And of course: Happy Birthday Adam!

I’m considering moving the stove over about six inches to the right in order to accommodate this baby. My current espresso machine is about 3 inches narrower. That would require rebuilding the counter top, moving the upper and lower cabinets – nobody wants the stove not aligned with the range hood, right – and doing some electrical work.

Seriously, is this sexy or just plain dumb? You’re with me right? Nobody puts that baby in a corner…

The alternative is to get a new house. Unless you see another option?

I’m so frustrated right now.

I’m frustrated about anything and everything.

I’m frustrated as a parent.

I’m frustrated as a husband.

I’m frustrated as a worker.

I’m frustrated at being frustrated.

My mind is going (crazy/running) in circles.

It seems that EVERYWHERE I look, there’s something I need to do to make things happen.

I want to be taken care of.

For a change.

My mom would be so proud. I am finally a Judge.

Granted, it’s not for a court of Law, but it’s still called being a Judge so I’m totally counting it. Ever since I watched Night Court as a little kid, I had this dream. Updating my résumé now…

Anyhoo, my good friend NYCWD (you all know Dawg, right? He’s famous for this thing he does… What’s it called again? You know his thingy video thing… He dates another famous person… You know? ) asked me to be one of the esteemed judges for his Social Media Responder 2009 (#SMR2009) contest.  You can see my killer profile and even more awesome profile picture on PIO Social Media Training. Sweet, right?

If you’re too lazy to visit…

As an added bonus, I will be under Hilly for the duration of this contest.

As a Judge, my duties include – but are not limited to – receiving bribes, drinking Scotch, arguing with other Judges (I AM THE LAW!), Wearing a goofy hat and walking around naked under a robe. I think I’m overqualified really. But what’s higher than a Judge, really?

Anyways, when I submitted the picture above, I took like a million of them – I’m not really photogenic so it’s hard for me to find a picture I like without photoshopping the fat Hell out of it – And I thought I could amuse you with some of the rejected profile pictures. Enjoy!

My mom would be so proud.