Goodbye number 8.

In many ways it’s hard to explain why I’m so sad at Gary Carter‘s passing. The guy played catcher for the Montreal Expos from 1974 to 1984, I was 13 when he left Montreal. That was 27 years ago. He did return for one season in Montreal in 1992. Gary Carter died yesterday from brain cancer, the same cancer that took Mado four short months ago. 

The Montreal Expos aka “Nos Z’Amours” were quite the phenomenon in Montreal. Hard to believe that at that point in time, Montreal was as much a baseball town as it claims to be a hockey town today. The Habs had Guy Lafleur, F1 had Gilles Villeneuve and the Expos had Gary Carter.

Riding around on our bicycles we all wanted to be Gilles Villeneuve. Playing hockey in the street we all wanted to be Guy Lafleur – or Maurice Richard if you were a little older. Playing baseball in the park we all wanted to play catcher and be Gary Carter.

I got to be Gary for a couple of seasons in little league.

Yes, that’s me.

So goodbye Gary. I had not seen you in over 20 years, but I’m sad. You were really one of the heroes of my childhood.

In all fairness, Mado was not a public figure. She didn’t invent cool computers and technological gadgets like Steve did.

But for her family, she did change everything.

So Rest in Peace Mado. I didn’t know you very well but you did touch my life, and more importantly my brother’s life. You were and are still loved.

Being a recent MacConvert, I don’t have interesting stories about getting a Mac when I was 7 and becoming the envy of the geeks at my school, or how Steve touched and changed my life. The first Apple product I bought was the first generation iPod Nano, and I bought it for my LovelyWife as a wedding anniversary present.

All evening yesterday I watched my Twitter timeline as it was overflowing with an outpouring of 140-characters eulogies for a man I didn’t know. A man I never met. Why was I feeling sad at Steve’s passing? I only made one comment:

The truth is that I’m not sad at Steve’s passing. It is a sad and tragic event, everybody deserves more time with their loved ones. But just a few weeks ago I was already in “funny but slightly inappropriate mode” about Apple co-founder’s death. So why the weird feelings now? To borrow Backpacking Dad’s sentiment‘s words:

It’s crazy to be maudlin about a total stranger’s death. And it’s crazier to write so many words about him when I did not write a thing about my brother’s Mother-In-Law’s loosing battle with Cancer. I’m sure it’s transference.

My brother’s Mother-In-Law – Mado – will soon die of a brain Cancer. When she goes, people on Twitter will not spend a night Tweeting about her. They will not make graphics with her quotes, direct people to watch her videos on YouTube. In all fairness, Mado is not a public figure. She didn’t invent cool computers and technological gadgets.

But for her family, she did change everything.

So Rest in Peace Steve. I didn’t know you but you did touch my life.

To Mado’s family. To Benoit, Stéphanie, Eliott and Juliette; I love you guys.

Steve Jobs vs. Bill Gates & Garfield minus Garfield

But at this point, it’s hard to tell which form my return will take.

What they sold us:

1. “The computer room is climate-controlled!”
2. “We have three backup generators!!”
3. “There’s 75 of us! We can give you excellent customer service!!!”
4. “We have sophisticated monitoring tools!!!!”
5. “We’ll take care of the ever-greening!!!!!”
6. “There’s 75 of us! Even if 10 guys are sick, we can still take care of your systems you won’t even see the difference!!!!!!!!!”
7. “We recognize the importance of your service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
8. “You’ll have direct access to a technician 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

What they’re actually delivering:

1. “AC is out in the computer room… Which servers of yours can we shut down for the day?”
2. “Two of the three backup generators failed, there will be an outage of 24 hours this week-end.”
3. “Well, I’m not in charge of this anymore.”
4. “It seems the monitoring tools failed at the exact time the problem happened – so we didn’t notice.”
5. “You need new boxes? Let’s talk about the cost for a bit.”
6. “I’m new on you system and I need 4 months to get up to speed.”
7. “Is that patch you want applied purely cosmetic? I have other important things to do.”
8. “Let me get back to you on that during the week.”

I’m so pissed right now.

This is my family tree. Well, just my side of the family.

All my grand-parents are dead. For years now, Death has been hovering just above my parent’s level. Like this.

As soon as Death claims someone at a lower level, each Zone shifts down, and the reaction of people learning about a person’s death change accordingly. For example, if one of my kids was to die today, it would be tragic. If I was to die today, it would be unexpected.

So my mom’s in the hospital. As you’re reading this she is under the knife for a second angioplasty following her second, third and fourth heart attack in the last six months. Death is slowly creeping it’s way down. I don’t want Death to shift down.

Not because I’m afraid to be Next in line. Because I don’t want my kids to get to the Unexpected zone just yet.

• The Phoenix: So Hilly decided to reinvent herself. I can’t wait to see what she’ll do next. Just so you know, I’m totally stealing the Hilly Sundays and making them Mikey Sundays. I kid, I kid. I never blog on Sundays anymore.

• The Dark Phoenix: I’m thinking about this. Again. I already did this and that, so I’m thinking about making it official. Again. Feel free to gimme your thoughts, opinions and assvice.

• The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning. So I completely missed the release of Gathering Storm, the 12th (and final) book in the Wheel of time series. Well, true to the Robert Jordan experience, the final book has now become a three book saga. So the ending is really a beginning. As it should be, I guess.

• Galaxies are Colliding: I look good in black.

In a slightly modified Call of Cthulhu tradition, I’ll keep the last two bullets for myself – the madness is here and I’m not going down without a fight.

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.

This is “Disintegration” from Luke Chueng.

I gotta keep it together. I might kill someone before the day is over*. Stay tuned.

*Of course I won’t. But if I did, wouldn’t this be messed up?

Je m’entraîne pour avoir un corps d’athlète. J’ai déjà commencé par avoir le pied d’athlète.

It translates something like this:

I’m training to get an athlete body. I already started with athlete’s foot.

Not that funny I know.

In my case I would trade my ripped left calf muscle for athlete’s foot.

According to Doctor Google, I tore my Plantaris tendon, pretty much right where you could draw a line between the two Soleus muscles lines in that graphic.

The result is intense pain, kinda like your calf is in a constant state of cramping. You know the feeling some people experience in the middle of the night when they wake up rolling on the floor clutching their calf and crying? Well, I have that exact pain all the time.

Doctor Google told me that I should compress, ice and elevate the leg. Doctor Google also said that Tylenol or something similar to Tylenol would help with the pain.

On my way back from work yesterday, I bought two massive Tylenol buckets – one “Extra Strength” and one “Muscle Aches & Body Pain” – and one giant elastic bandage similar to this one:

Of course, within minutes of putting the bandage on, one of the fasteners broke. I also took 2 pills and elevated the leg.

Well, Doctor Google was right. I feel much better today. I won’t be running anytime soon, but at least I’m not whimpering and rolling around on the floor in my office anymore.

Doctor Google: The only true universal health care.