It had to happen at some point.

CutieDaughter asked me if she could have a Facebook account. Actually, she asked me if I knew why she was getting this message saying that she couldn’t create an account. I quickly realized that it was due to an age restriction.

Facebook TOS states that you have to be 13 or older to use Facebook.

From Facebook Help Center: (http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=16109)

What happens if my child creates an account and they are under 13 years old?

Facebook requires its users to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account. Providing false information to create an account is a violation of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.

Applicable laws may give parents the right to access personal information their child has provided before Facebook follows its policy of promptly deleting such accounts. If you are aware of your underage child having an account on Facebook, you can show them how to delete their account by having them log into their profile and following this link.

If you would like to report an underage user (under 13 years of age), please do so here. We will promptly delete the account of any underage user that is reported to us through this form.

Alternatively, you can submit a request to Facebook here. Please be aware that you will be required to submit a notarized statement declaring your rights as a parent or guardian immediately upon using this form.

So naturally I’m torn between letting her have an account I would monitor, telling her that the TOS says she can’t and run the risk she opens one without my knowledge, letting her do it but then reporting her and all her underage friends…

So, what would the Internet do (WWTID)? Time for some assvice people… Go!

I get a whole bunch of spam comments around here. Most of the time, I just delete the comments after going through them – I blame my OCD but it helps me catch a few of real comments in there, yes I’m looking at you Ren by the way.

Anyways, spammers are getting craftier by the day.

Some appeal to my love of dumb questions:

Why is a square meal served on round plates?
from Affiliate Network, on “The one that sends Child Services to my house*”

It would be too hard to eat the meal if it was under a round plate.

That’s So COOL…who knew ?
from Education, on “Diptych – Bold“

Well, not you that’s for sure.

Some appeal to my know-it-all side:

I’m looking for 3d animation software programs without breaking the bank. I’ve come across maya, 3dmax and 3dmagix so far Whos got a review for 3dmagix? I’m into cartoon animation so which program is suitable for me? Jeffrey D
from raffaelo, on “Hey look who’s posting around 23h30*“

I don’t know. Damn.

Most appeal to my vanity:

I read a few topics. I respect your work and added blog to favorites.
from generic viagra levitra generic cialis pills on “The one that sends Child Services to my house*“

You’re my new BFF.

Really like this post, thanks for writing.
from hib bathroom mirrors, on “Blackmail“

I’ll hook you up with my CutieDaughter, Son.

Very interesting and amusing subject. I read with great pleasure.
from cheapest generic cialis, on “I am not from around here“

In Russia, pleasure reads you.

Super information,I have Digged this site to my seo list for future and will keep a eye on your other posts.
from ubotstudio, on “Regenerating… 25%“

Well, I do write timeless pieces. I posted this one in November 2008

Some want to “contribute” nudge-nudge wink-wink:

hey this blog is great. I’m glad I came by this blog. Maybe I can contribute in the near future. PM ME on Yahoo AmandaLovesYou702
from Cherrie Jahosky, on “They Keep Killing Suzie“

Bow-chicka-Wow-wow!

hey this blog is great. I’m glad I came by this blog. Maybe I can contribute in the near future. PM ME on Yahoo AmandaLovesYou702
from George Sester, on “They Keep Killing Suzie“

WTF? Is Amanda a girl or a guy? Aaaargh! Oh, those are actually for the Author, so it’s all good for me. Dodged that bullet.

Of course, some don’t try at all:

ocljlwijlmcds
from ocljlwijlmcds on “Wonder More“

I mean really? You just write your name as a comment? Lame.

And finally, some try way too hard:

Thanks for posting this article. I’m definitely frustrated with struggling to search out relevant and brilliant commentary on this subject. Everybody now goes to the very far extremes to either drive home their viewpoint that either: everyone else in the planet is wrong, or two that everyone but them does not really understand the situation. Many thanks for your succinct, applicable insight.
from pub height dining set, on “’stache“

That’s right. I am the expert on sticking a mustache on a cow.

This is kind of a rebirth edition. With pictures / graphics. Enjoy.

• The Phoenix: So Hilly decided to reinvent herself. I can’t wait to see what she’ll do next. Just so you know, I’m totally stealing the Hilly Sundays and making them Mikey Sundays. I kid, I kid. I never blog on Sundays anymore.

• The Dark Phoenix: I’m thinking about this. Again. I already did this and that, so I’m thinking about making it official. Again. Feel free to gimme your thoughts, opinions and assvice.

• The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the Age that gave it birth comes again. In one Age, called the Third Age by some, an Age yet to come, an Age long past, a wind rose. The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning. So I completely missed the release of Gathering Storm, the 12th (and final) book in the Wheel of time series. Well, true to the Robert Jordan experience, the final book has now become a three book saga. So the ending is really a beginning. As it should be, I guess.

• Galaxies are Colliding: I look good in black.

In a slightly modified Call of Cthulhu tradition, I’ll keep the last two bullets for myself – the madness is here and I’m not going down without a fight.

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.

After a lot of time thinking about this, I think I came up with the most likely explanation for my super power.

I am not from your planet.

I think I must be from Uranus – I’ve been called or called myself an asshole more than on one occasion – or even further away from your sun. I think that would make sense since further away from the sun, or from any sun really, would explain my super power.

You wanna see what my super power is? It’s nothing too fancy, I just have some kind of ultra-vision.

But don’t take my word for it. Look at these:

Triptych? Not really.

When I look at these, I see two full trash cans and one overflowing recycling bin.

I know, it’s hard to believe. You probably see three empty containers up there right? I mean, that’s what LovelyWife and the Zadorable see when they look at these. That would explain why they keep putting things in the containers even when they overflow. That would also explain their weird flushing habit, but that might be another post. Sans pictures, of course.

What? What do you mean? Define “Bozo”?

I can prove you yet once more that I am an asshole. Thursday morning on the bus, this woman sitting behind me was reading. She kept hitting me on the back with her book – she was resting the top of her book on the top of the back of my seat. After a little while, I politely asked her to please stop touching me with her book and she made the face. You know the face that says “Shut the fuck up you moron”. So I did. When my stop came, I stood up and saw that she was reading Soul of the Fire, the fifth novel in the Sword of Truth series.  So I told her how the series ends. I made the face, and stepped off the bus.

* I’m giving full credit to Kapgar for the “TUA – Totally Unrelated Aside”, the inspiration behind the Aparté.

I don’t know if you’ve heard, but last week my good buddy Dave2 called me a pussy. It’s all over the InterSphereTubes. Really.

Ever since that happened, I’ve been looking at ways to get back at him, and I explored many different options.

One was to do a video of timbagging, (a spoof on teabagging, except I would put Timbits in my mouth), but I thought that would make me look a lot pussier than already implied. Another one was to draw a map of the USA and add cutsy little graphics on top, but it’s already been done in a brilliant way. I thought about showing you how I beat Wayne Gretzky and stole his Olympic torch to play some air guitar:

Take that Wayne! Rock on!

But meh. He is the great one, but he’s no LeSombre, if you know what I mean.

Finally, I had it. Instead of proving that Canadian are manlier than Usians,  why don’t I simply show that the Usians are far bigger pussies than Canadians? That is the American way, yes?

So without furter ado, video proof that Usians are responsible for the pussification of America:

Proof #1

Usians “shopping”

Proof #2

Usians at the Mall. They have nothing on Robin Sparkles.

Incidentally, I do believe these are also Dave2’s worst nightmares. Enjoy your sleepless nights, sir.

I also believe that makes us even.

Oh yeah, it’s Monday all right.

This is “Disintegration” from Luke Chueng.

I gotta keep it together. I might kill someone before the day is over*. Stay tuned.

*Of course I won’t. But if I did, wouldn’t this be messed up?