It had to happen at some point.
CutieDaughter asked me if she could have a Facebook account. Actually, she asked me if I knew why she was getting this message saying that she couldn’t create an account. I quickly realized that it was due to an age restriction.
Facebook TOS states that you have to be 13 or older to use Facebook.
From Facebook Help Center: (http://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=16109)
What happens if my child creates an account and they are under 13 years old?
Facebook requires its users to be at least 13 years old before they can create an account. Providing false information to create an account is a violation of our Statement of Rights and Responsibilities.
Applicable laws may give parents the right to access personal information their child has provided before Facebook follows its policy of promptly deleting such accounts. If you are aware of your underage child having an account on Facebook, you can show them how to delete their account by having them log into their profile and following this link.
If you would like to report an underage user (under 13 years of age), please do so here. We will promptly delete the account of any underage user that is reported to us through this form.
Alternatively, you can submit a request to Facebook here. Please be aware that you will be required to submit a notarized statement declaring your rights as a parent or guardian immediately upon using this form.
So naturally I’m torn between letting her have an account I would monitor, telling her that the TOS says she can’t and run the risk she opens one without my knowledge, letting her do it but then reporting her and all her underage friends…
So, what would the Internet do (WWTID)? Time for some assvice people… Go!
I say let her have an account, but she has to friend you, give you the password, and let you check it at any time.
.-= Lynda´s last blog ..Guessing Games =-.
I say let her have an account and then use it for emotional manipulation.
Fail a test? Post it on Facebook as punishment.
If you let her have an account, just be prepared to answer some of the questions she may have, like the definition of Facebook friends and how they are really not friends, but sort, but not…
Hey, can you explain that one to me too?
I’m with Lynda. She (and her friends)(that is, CutieDaughter, not Lynda) will do a bunch of stupid-assed, ignorant stuff, but you’ll observe it all and be able to remind her that the Internet is permanent, and why Johnny and Susie’s feelings were crushed. She’ll experience things with repercussions that are the End! Of! The! World! which you will be able to foresee and can decide if you should stop or just let play out. You know, for the learning. Point is, at this stage, you’re in control. It’s a *kind of* semi-controlled learning.
Also: unfriend you, change password: computer privileges REVOKED. No exceptions.
.-= harmzie´s last blog ..Chicago =-.
how old is she?
Parker is ten and begging. I will be reading the advice you get hoping I can figure out what to do too
It really depends on CutieDaughter, I think. I wouldn’t let my daughter have one, but in part it’s because I’d have to friend her, and then I’d have to start censoring myself on Facebook. Where’s the fun in that?!
But if that’s not a problem for you, then I’d let her have one but make sure all her stuff is uber private. Also, definitely make sure you can check it from time to time.
.-= Sybil Law´s last blog ..More drunken ramblings… =-.
Definitely a tough call. It really all depends on her maturity level, but there needs to be strict rules. You must have password, account is monitored, and is by no means in anyway private to you or her mother. You may even mandate some side by side usage, but that’s up to you.
I think its ok to allow your children to engage in Internet activities so long as it is VERY closely monitored and observed. Strict rules or no access. Plain and simple.
.-= Hockeymandad´s last blog ..When you wake up =-.
My youngest cat has a twitter account.
So, take my advice how you care to: I think human children should wait, unless their accounts are monitored daily my parental units.
.-= Poppy´s last blog ..Thank you. =-.
*by parental units. sigh.
.-= Poppy´s last blog ..Thank you. =-.
preface: i have no children.
on with the assvice: i think encouraging the kid to break the rules, and probably lie (about her age) in the process of setting up an account, is a bad idea. truthfulness is a big deal to me and any way you look at it you would be teaching her that it is ok in some cases. just a short jump to her deciding when to lie instead of you giving her permission to lie.
ok, done being a bitch. bet yinz are all glad that i’m not your mom, eh?
.-= hello haha narf´s last blog ..Some Call Them Weeds =-.
@Lynda: So just like her GMail account then. Thanks!
@Joanne Kern: Aren’t you supposed to be the “New Media” expert here?
@Harmzie: That sounds like a good plan.
@BPR: She’s 11 and a half. She’s very mature, but she’s also very “naive” in many ways…
@Sybil Law: Well, I mostly write in English on Facebook, and CutieDaughter is not fully bilingual yet – so that’ll buy me a few more years.
Also, I am extremely reserved on Facebook, because it’s way too public to my taste. 
@HockeyManDad: My fear is more that she’ll get hurt. She already has a GMail account that I monitor, and those kids are not nice at times. I don’t want Facebook to just be more of the same.
@Poppy: But Twitter doesn’t have a minimum age requirement! Plus, in cat years your youngest cat is… Well I dunno cat math.
@Hello Haha Narf: No no, I value your comment. Honesty is a big deal to me too.
My girls are 10 and 12. They asked for MySpace and I consented provided I get the password and monitor whenever I want too. They know if they do something wrong, it’s gone. They’ve had their pages a little over a year now. I have to ask who’s who, but I’m okay with that. I also set the pages to private so strangers cannot look them up and friend them.
12 recently asked for a Facebook page and I said no. For two reasons, the main reason being I have a FB and I don’t want to censor myself. FB is mommy time. Although, 12 is around occasionally when I post and I do share the funny stuff with her. The lesser reason is that I still feel that FB is for the older set. MySpace is for kids. And weirdos who can’t figure out blogging for grownups. I told her the reasons and she was okay with them. For now…
I’m not a fan of lying either. You know your daughter: Would she go underground and get one by saying she’s 13 even if you say no?
How old is she anyway? Who is she going to friend, people she sees every day? I don’t see the point.
With you monitoring, it’s not a big deal, but do you really want to go to all that trouble with the notarizing, etc. for Facebook?
.-= Finn´s last blog ..Diptych Ten: Shine =-.
My 12 year old (nearly 12 1/2 now) is looking forward to the enhanced Internet access that comes with turning 13. She hasn’t specifically mentioned Facebook yet, but lots of other sites she visits have the same age requirement. I did get Gmail accounts for both of my daughters a while back, which was mostly about reserving the usernames. However, they’ve both started using them over the last year or so. I have them set up to forward all mail to me, though that doesn’t include mail they send, unfortunately. Most of the email they receive I just find annoying, but occasionally I see something that leads to a discussion (typically informative not disciplinary).
My advice is to wait until she’s 13.
.-= Ren´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday Diptych #10: Shine =-.
My 12 year old is anxiously awaiting her 13th birthday so she can get Facebook. All of her ‘not 13′ friends have it, but I am mean and I do not conform to breaking rules. I hope I’m setting a precedent that doing the right thing is important, though not always popular.
The comments about people not wanting to let their kids have Facebook pages because they would have to censor themselves. You can make it where your child can’t see your page- but you will see theirs. I have my facebook wall, photos and photos that I’m tagged in all blocked from my co-workers.
http://www.allfacebook.com/2009/02/facebook-privacy/
A tough one to be sure. Hmm. I think you could strike the happy medium by allowing her to have an account but on the understanding that you have the password and can login at any time.
I’m a hard-ass. In 7 1/2 years, my response will probably be, “I didn’t have a Facebook account until I was 37. Come back in 2042.”
Yeah. I’m probably going to have to change that opinion when the time comes.
.-= Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Dairy Queens =-.
LD (8) hasn’t asked for one but, when the time comes, I’ll be telling him to keep on dreaming. He can wait til he is thirteen. Even then, I’ll still be monitoring it randomly. I know there are pervs on the internet so I gotta protect my kid from
Adamthese creeps.A lot of people I know let their kids get accounts so that they can play all of the games and things that FB has to offer…..my response is : you see that gray box on top of the tv that I paid more on than we do on groceries in a month? GO USE IT.
I’m not a nice mom – I’m super overprotective about things like that.
.-= Sheila (Charm School RejecT)´s last blog ..Where Do I Go From Here? =-.
Ugh, tell her no! Save her from the stupitity that is Facebook, give her a pony instead.
.-= Sarcastica´s last blog ..fresh =-.
UsedToBeMe: I’m ok with the censor thing. I don’t say much on Facebook that is questionable, as I like to keep FB public so old friends can find me (To me that’s the main purpose of Facebook). I’m questioning the usage her friends already make of Facebook.
Finn: CutieDaughter will be 12 in August. I’m not sure she’d get one without my consent, but it’s a fine line between “being part of the gang” and “listening to your dad”. Peer pressure sucks.
Ren: I do the same with my kids GMail accounts. Unfortunately, I had to intervene on a few occasions – I had to write to a classmate who kept sending nasty comments and making fun of other kids through email.
Beth: Very true.
Janelle: Oh I’m not worried about what I post on Facebook. My Facebook page is pretty tame compared to my Twitter account. Now, if CutieDaughter wanted a Twitter account…
Kevin Spencer: I’m not too worried about what she would do, I’m more worried about the stuff he friends are already doing on Facebook. Like join groups like “I’d suck my teacher for a B+”… Do I really want to have that talk with my 11 year old *now*?
CMG: Wait, you’re older than 37?
SheilaCSR: I look at what her “friends” already on Facebook are doing, and I’m not sure I want to deal with that yet.
Sarcastica: Ha, the pony advice. Good one!