Before we start: Don’t forget that I’ll be putting together an awesome mix tape for you. Just go to the Shiny Lesombre Meme, and leave a comment. I’ll draw a winner next Monday.
I’ve seen a version of this on a couple of other blogs, and quite frankly it almost got me in trouble just commenting on those blogs. I’m talking of course of Chag from Cynical Dad‘s and this other completely anonymous blogger with a super duper secret blog that I’m not supposed to mention here but I can vaguely point towards it with my elbow.
Ahem.
Toujours était-il que, like I was saying I’ve seen a version of this on other blogs, and it was called something along the lines of “The people I hate” of “The Asshole list”. The principle is that you list 5 kinds of people you absolutely fucking hate or consider assholes or both. One example that showed on these blogs was “People who back their cars into driveways of parking spaces“.
Well, in my own driveway I happen to be a backer upper. I do it because I’m scared shitless nice enough to prevent LovelyWife from backing up in the street. You see she’s not a really good driver, and backing up is one of the things that she might have a problem with. I can almost hear LovelyWife’s friends screaming at their monitors that forward driving is not that great either, but you know, lesser of two evils here.
Anyways.
Once again I’m putting my own little spin on this by making my own anti-asshole list. People that can be complete asses, but if they do that one thing odds are I’ll like them anyways.
- People who offer to help. Who says chivalry is dead? If someone takes the time to open the door, hold the elevator or anything like that, I’ll automatically assume that there’s some good in them. If someone falls on the sidewalk in front of you, do you walk by ignoring that person or do you offer help?
- People who work in the food industry and take the time to wash their hands between the handling of money and food. Do I really need to explain this one? I often see the opposite and quite frankly it makes me want to punch that person in the face. But if I see you wash your hands, change your glove or anything like that, it makes me happy.
- People who are true fans. As you’re reading this, the Montreal Canadiens are probably done for the season. Every single person I’ll see with a Habs jersey over the summer will make me smile. Working in Ottawa, I can tell you that I have not seen anyone wearing a Toronto Maple Leafs or Ottawa Senators Jerseys in the last month.
- People who understand that it’s not all about them. Please, if you think this bullet is about you I garan-damn-tee you that it’s not. I’m thinking about people that have the guts to say things like “In order to improve our services, I think my job should be the one that gets cut” instead of things like “But I’m the manager, they can’t fire me”.
- People who follow through after they decide on a course of action. I’m not saying those people have to succeed. They just have to follow through. If you say “I’ll take care of this” and then completely forget about it, you didn’t follow through. If you try and fail it’s much better than not trying at all.
There you go. My five anti-assholes.
Of course, I’m sure you’d rather read my Asshole list, right? 
That was so nice… you’re like Obi Wan fighting against the darkness of the Dark Side with the goodness of your … goodness. :/ That sounded far more clever in my head.
Faiqa recently blogged Secret Shame(s) of My iTunes Revealed
Awww. That was a much nicer way to start the day than a bunch of schandefreude. Not that schandefreude doesn’t have it’s place, granted, but positivity first thing in the morning is nicer
suze recently blogged hope there’s someone to take care of me when i’m old…
I agree with your list, but in particular number 5. It’s a special thing in life when
whall recently blogged They sell WHAT?
Those are truly anti-assholes. The food industry is ripe with employees that don’t give a shit anymore. It’s nice (and unfortunately rare) when you see someone follow the rules, for the safety and taste enjoyment of others.
martymankins recently blogged My Hawaii Vacation – The Photos
You crack me up! I love it
Um. #4 was totally about me right? You hate me don’t you.
Off to go re-read this post a thousand times and make every single point you made make me feel like it’s ALL ABOUT ME and how you hate me more and more and more. Wait, I’ll never really follow through on that. I don’t have the attention span.
OH! How on EARTH did you know that I NEVER wash my hands before handling food? And I AM A MANAGER! They can’t fire me! Not Me! Before I forget, if you need help making another not so cryptic list about the reasons you hate me, you can find me on the chat thingamajig. And I’m such a fan of yours that I don’t really care that you make every post about your dislike for me, I’m still gonna read your post everyday!!
And if you aren’t laughing, I have failed and you can delete my comment.
Janelle recently blogged If a tree falls down and nobody hears it, did it really fall?
I LOVE this list! It really put a smile on my face.
And I’m a backerupper too into our driveway – Daren and I both are. Channeling Rain Man, “I’m a good driver,” and do my own backing up.
And no, that’s not a euphemism for anything.
Karen Sugarpants recently blogged Remembering Those Who Stand By Our Sides
I cannot back up into spaces – unless I am the only car around for miles. I’m actually not a good parker, period.
Baby you can park my car.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) recently blogged A Remarkable Day
#2 is a big pet peeve of mine!! (well, the one’s that don’t do it). And yay for #1! I cannot bring myself to not hold a door for someone if I make eye contact with them when I look behind me to see if anyone’s there…even if they’re really far away, lol. Then there are the people who are an inch in front of me who don’t even bother to look behind them and shut the door. Drives me crazy!
BlondeBlogger recently blogged 20 Years!
Excellent list.
May many good things happen for you today.
Sybil Law recently blogged The One Where I Curse And Link A Lot
You’re right. I was bracing for a good, old-fashioned asshole list. It’d have made me feel better for being cranky about avoiding learning French grammar.
Mimi recently blogged Delinquants are us
@Faiqa: Most of my posts are that way. They sound better in my head.
@Suze: Glad to be of service.
@Whall: Classic.
@MartyMankins: Makes me leave a bigger tip. Win-win!
@Janelle: I laughed, I cried, I checked the locks on my doors.
@Karen Sugarpants: Was the “put a smile on my face” a euphemism?
@SheilaCSR: Beep beep, beep beep, yeah!
@Blonde Blogger: I think holding the door is so easy, why not do it?
@Sybil Law: Actually, it was a pretty bad day.
@Mimi: Awwww, sorry. I’ll probably end up making an actual asshole list eventually, don’t lose hope!