Turns out I’m leaning more towards the “cold and needs a hip replacement” on the hip to hip continuum.
You see, my niece is on Facebook.
But that’s not what makes me feel old.
She’s going to turn 15 this summer.
But that’s not what makes me feel old.
One of her profile picture says “Pornstar Barbiiee”
But that’s not what makes me feel old – but we’re getting there.
This is one of her status updates (bear with me):
My niece’s name A la de la paiinee Solideee & A penne luiidizoonn pamal Boucoupp ses temppss siii ;; Sa va passer Tropp Dchangement Danss ma viiee Surmenntt Lmorall Un peuuxx aterree maiis A lcachhee Deriieree Sonn Souriiirreee (U).
I know that’s all in French. Don’t worry about it too much. The important thing you should know is that the proper way to spell whatever is written there is:
My niece’s name a de la peine solide, et a peine lui disons pas mal beaucoup ces temps-ci. Ça va passer, trop de changements dans ma vie sûrement le moral un peu à terre mais elle le cache derrière son sourire (U).
And I just “translated” word for word, it still doesn’t make much sense even to French speakers. I won’t even try to make
You see, I have no fucking clue what’s that new way of spelling things. I mean, I know my niece is not an idiot, I’m pretty sure she knows this is not the way to spell words. so it must be done on purpose, right?
I mean, you guys know the power of proper spelling. Heck you’ll call me on all misspellings found or typos you find here – I know it’s not in a mean way, no worries – so I think I can safely say that misspelling takes the focus away from the message.
Sigh
So, I guess I’m half pissed because I have no clue what’s going on, and half pissed because my niece sounds like an idiot.
I’m so fucking old.
Get off my lawn.
Well, in general, someone who uses the word “hip” isn’t cool. But you’re clearly the exception.
Amanda recently blogged I Really See You Upside Down
You French Canadians always have been more innately hip than us Americans even before you started bringing that extra pizazz to the French language.
Iron Fist recently blogged the right way
Hope she’s ok… unless it was a song lyric or something.
Wow… no clue what to say about that except that I had no clue either. Guess we are both old eh?
Nat recently blogged A collection like Easter Eggs
Well, if that’s your position on the scale, trust me, I’m even further to the right.
Why is it both reassuring and scary to know kids have f’d up variants of other languages besides just English?
kapgar recently blogged We don’t need another hero…
I always call out my younger relatives when they type like morons.
Avitable recently blogged We can fix your life
hooked on phonics works in french too!
suze recently blogged he grabs me by the hand, and drags me to the shore…
I Know what’s going on…
You should see the homeworks of my students, dam it’s horrible. Internet, MSN, Facebook, twitter and blablabla killed the importance of good writting.
Slut, C ya, WTF, BBQ, rock paper scissor spock lizard, wink wink.
I seriously hate the way those damn kids write nowadays!! Back in the old days, we just wrote out words the HARD way – in the rain, even!
Ha, yeah, I thought I was all hip & cool until my girlfriend’s nephew called me an old man. That’s just what a 35 year old wants to hear
Oh and you forgot to shake your cane in the air while telling the kids to get off your lawn. I find that helps.
Kevin Spencer recently blogged Life And Times
“Get off my lawn” made me ELL. OH. EHHHHHHHLL!
And, I am intrigued by Canadiargot.
Poppy recently blogged In other words (than my own, but close enough)
@Amanda: Hahahahahahahaha! Clearly. Thanks.
@Iron Fist: Well duh.
@Nat: Yup, you and me. Old. Poo.
@Kapgar: I think kids are kids in every language.
@Avitable: Well, one person’s moron might be … Ah even I can’t make that one fly.
@Suze: LOL!
@THE BROTHER: Spock FTW. I know you know. You’re very smart.
@Sybil Law: We had uphill both ways, they have “up yours” and “both ways”.
@Kevin Spencer: I would probably get a sword cane. Scare the crap out of those whipper-snappers!
@Poppy: Glad I made you laugh! And just so you know, when anyone asks I’ll tell them I came up with Canadiargot. Brilliant.
You essentially did. Without you I would not have been inspired to use the word Canadia or to contract it with argot.
Poppy recently blogged In other words (than my own, but close enough)
Oh hey look! I’ve managed to high jack an internet connection and I hauled ass all the way over to your blog, just because I could.
I will refrain from telling you all of your typographical errors in the future.
P.S. My niece does that shit too. It KILLS me. And she’s a freakin’ honor student. GAH.
Sheila (Charm School Reject) recently blogged Four Months From Now
@Poppy: ::blushes::
@SheilaCSR: I’d do the same for you really. Notice how I didn’t point out that you probably mean “hijack”. You probably also have a “Hi the bed!” – you know, a couch that turns into a bed, so when it happens you go: “Hi the bed!”.
DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT
!!!!
Sheila (Charm School Reject) recently blogged Four Months From Now