Warning: This preview may will contain spoilers.
Disclaimer: I didn’t read the books at this point.
There is so much hype around the Twilight Saga that when I first read about it at Sarcastica’s place, I figured I was going to like it and I ordered the complete saga through Chapters as soon as I got to work.
And then LovelyWife started reading them, and the movie came out, and I was supposed to go see the movie with LovelyWife but she ended up going by herself, and yaddi yaddi yadda.
So I finally watched an eye patch special of Twilight yesterday. Boy am i glad I didn’t pay 14.95$ to see that movie.
That movie plainly sucked.
Sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked, sucked.
The story is so cheesy and weak. Stop me if you heard this before: It’s the story of this fish out of the water girl… See, you stopped me already. Nothing is original about that story. It every afterschool special rolled into one, add a few measures of vampire lore, make the vampires unaffected by sunlight (Just like in all the new vampire shows on tv), heroine falls in love with vampire, vampire hates being a monster, blah blah blah.
Ouuuuh! She gets an old pick-up truck from her dad. There are Indians living on a “res”, and they know the secret of the vampire family. They stare a lot.
Whatever.
The cinematography is somewhat reminiscent of a very low budget B-Movie. Some scenes are disjointed from the rest of the movie. What’s the deal with the school kids dancing out the window while Bella and her dad are having lunch at the diner? The compost scene? The hang on my little spider monkey scene?
A word on the acting: Fppppprrrrltltltltltl!!! I’m pretty sure that’s a word. I mean come on, the dad cop looked like he was mimicking deputy Dwight ‘Dewey’ Riley from Scream that turns out to be the killer. Hey I told you there would be spoilers. 
The silver lining to this cloud of non-awesomeness? I didn’t pay 15$ to see it.
I hope the books are better.
but hi, Edward is hot.
don’t front.
Cryss last blog post..I am doing it wrong
I compared the movie to the old Calvin Klein commericals for obsession. You know – random statements and bad acting
bella – you’re skin is cold (stare)
Edward – are you afraid (looking like he’s gonna cry)
Bella no- (stare)
suck is just not strong enough of a word
Rachels last blog post..Really, How many trash cans does one family need
@Crys: Yeah he’s so hot that I thought about changing my sexual orientation to “actors that act like Keanu Reeves”. Whoa.
@Rachel: LOL! The acting in Twilight is comparable to the one in Zoolander, except that in Zoolander, they’re re supposed to act like idiots…
I liked it.
Avitables last blog post..Anybody live near Charlotte?
@Avitable: You mean you liked my review right?
I’m hoping the books can boost my opinion of the movie a little.
They probably won’t boost your opinion.
I’m a bit of a sucker for gothy teen girl movies, though.
Avitables last blog post..Anybody live near Charlotte?
I liked the movie better the second time around. I have a lot of the same complaints as you though. Probably the worst scene was the one at the dress shop – it looked like it was recorded on a cell phone. Also, seriously, there budget was so low that those girls couldn’t buy pretty dresses?
The books though? Oh man – falling in love with Edward was easy!
Kristen Stewart and who ever played Alice are the only ones who looked like I imagined them. I don’t think Robert Pattinson was a very good choice for Edward. Not because he’s not hot (he is) but because he’s just not what I pictured. Honestly, I had Shane West in my head for Edward.
Sheila (Charm School Reject)s last blog post..Love Don’t Live Here Anymore
@Avitable: I’m a sucker for gothy teen girls myself. I married one!
@SheilaCSR: Well, I can’t really comment on the quality of the picture since what I saw was not of the highest quality possible.
There’s just one thing I’ve witnessed about this book and/or movie…either people love it or hate it. I’m hanging out in Camp Love, thanks.
Hillys last blog post..Sympathetic Characters…
@Hilly: You’re right! I wanted to like that movie so much…
I haven’t seen it and I’m not sure if I want to. However, my 13 year old daughter saw it…she liked most of it. But she said that the actress who played Bella seemed like she was seriously constipated throughout the whole movie:)
Beckys last blog post..Coming Home!
I just finished the second book. I still haven’t decided whether I like *them,* so I think I’ll just wait for the DVD to watch the movie. It costs $14.95 to watch a movie where you live? Apparently, you have to be Thurston Howell II (or is it III?) to live in Canada.
The guy who plays the vampire was on Leno and gave a pretty entertaining interview. Of course, Leno comes into my living room for free which keeps my entertainment expectations low.
And $14.95! I can see a matinee (<– ooh!, another French word. I think) for $3.50. The Man is putting the screws to you.
delmers last blog post..Blood Work Update
I’m with you, dude. That movie sucked. Hard. I do like the books, though the first one is pretty slow to start. I’m in the middle of the fourth book now and like I said on my blog, if I had seen the movie first, there’s no way that I’d bother with the books. It’s that bad.
Karls last blog post..How I Slept With Three Gorgeous Women But Got No Sex
Trust me. If you were a teenage girl? You would have orgasmed during this movie.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughters last blog post..Paying It Forward
@Becky: At one point in the movie, a character is described as “looking like he’s constantly in pain” and I thought “But that’s all of them!”.
@Faiqa: You’d have to be Thurston Howell III.75 here, really.
@Delmer: I can see a matinée (French for “yellow pack of cigarettes that my grandfather used to smoke”) show for 7.95$. Given the current state of our economy, 15$CAD = 12$USD. Is it still that bad?
@Karl: I’ll still read the books, I just don’t feel any kind of rush to read them right now. I have a few of your book suggestions in the reading queue.
@CMG: Really? Can you be more specific and tell me when exactly?