Days until Christmas.
Are you done shopping? I’ll be done by the end of the day. Yay me! And now it’s time for another…
Weekend recap!
Friday night
Shopped at Costco for almost all my Christmas list. I met K-Girl and her hubby the NiceBusDriver and they brought me the best gift in the whole world: Guitar Hero World Tour for the Wii. Yay! Drove back home and after 3 minutes we set-up the drum kit and played until 1:00. We’re total rock stars.
Saturday
After the obligatory grocery shopping, croissant and dessert pick-up we simply stayed home. I read one more book in my series, and played a few songs on GHWT. The day was peppered with hundreds of calls from my folks and my brother about Christmas shopping. What did you get for Alyson, what did you get for the parents, what does your daughter want, etc. I’m telling you this is like the North Pole here.
As an aside, Christmas is a little awkward for me this year. We recently spent a lot of money on the house and the car, so my Christmas budget is tight to say the least. To make matters worst, it seems my parents chose this year to go all out for Christmas gifts. It doesn’t affect me that much that they are going all out for the kids, but they’re doing the same for us, and I don’t have the money to match their gift this year. That makes me a little sad, to say the least.
Sunday
I woke up to an interesting e-mail on Sunday morning. Basically, somebody was asking me to be best friend with her. And yes, it’s Janelle from junkfood4thesoul. I like Janelle, even if I admit she came on a little strong at Adam’s party, but she’s toned it down quite a lot through our recent e-mails and twitters and I’m convinced that she’s a really good person. But we’re “Internet friends” not friends, and certainly not “Best Friends Forever”.
Here’s a quote from Mike’s Big Book of Best Friends (page 7): By definition, you can only have one best friend. Okay, I totally made the book up, but if I ever write a Big Book of Best Friends, that will be the sole content of page 7.
My point is, what is friendship anyways? I have a very clear definition of what friendship is, and I have a very clear cut and well defined system of friendship, but it doesn’t mean that I hold the Truth with a capital T about the nature of friendship. What about you Interweebs? How many friends do you have? Do you consider people you read on the Internet friends? I don’t.
Odds are if you’re reading this, and if I read you, I really like you. But I don’t expect you to pick me up at 4 a.m. from some shady bar because I’m too drunk to drive, or just to offer to babysit my kids while I go out with LovelyWife. I would expect my friends to do that. Without me asking. So you understand we probably can’t be friends according to this definition. It doesn’t mean I don’t like you.
I also have to want to hang out with you, and there has to be a good chance that this could happen with some kind of regularity. I mean, ever since Adam’s Halloween Party, I so wanna hang out with Adam all the time, I want him to meet my kids so he starts to like my Zadorables, I want to go see movies with him, and so on. But I’m a somewhat smart man, and I know that this has next to no chance to happening in the near future. Does that mean I don’t like Adam? Of course not, but it de facto disqualifies him as one of my friends. Now, if I ever move to Orlando, it might be different, who knows?
So anyhoo, I’ll end my rant about friendship here. 
I’m curious to read your thoughts on friendship. Am I an asshole for having really strict rules about friendship?
And now for a few totally unexpected segues:
Am I the only one who thinks that Crown Royal is overrated?
Today’s the birthday of Eric Lemieux-Samson, a bully I went to high school with. Eric’s favorite schtick was to get a running start and kick me in the ass as hard as he could (I’m sure he did it to a few other kids too, but what do I care about them). Eric, I’d like to wish you a Happy Birthday, wherever you are.
Dude – you have wayyyy too many rules about “friends”.
Granted – there are people I “like” on the Internet that I wouldn’t automatically think of as my friends. But I don’t think seeing them regularly is the defining factor.
Becky is my friend.
Hilly is my friend.
Karen from Sugarpants is my friend – and I’ve never met her.
Miss Britts last blog post..How Twilight Changed My Life
Regarding your discussion of friendship, I don’t think I agree. I have several people that I consider to be friends who I’ve either never met or only have met a few times.
Being able to hang out with them frequently would be nice, but not a mandatory requirement for me. What about friends you had in high school or college who you don’t see very frequently but are still your friends? Do they get disqualified?
I don’t really differentiate between friends that I meet through the Internet vs. real life. Many times this is because the friends I’ve met online are people with whom I share definitely similar interests, and the ones I’ve met due to geographic proximity are friends because of that proximity.
When it comes to many different aspects of life, I’m very restrictive and anal-retentive, but when it comes to friendship, I’m very lenient. There are varying degrees of friendship, sure, but I consider hundreds of people to be my friends.
That being said, a “best friend” is a bit different. I have several friends that I consider my “best”, and it’s a deeper level of friendship for sure.
Avitables last blog post..I need your help, Internets.
i’ve never had anybody ask me to be their BFF before. that’s like being asked on a date. or maybe a booty call. i think BFFdom is something you naturally evolve into, or blossom into if you will, like a rose blossoming into the warm rain. i’m a writer.
i have a few good friends i’ve never met in person. i think it’s always great to ultimately get that face-to-face, but not particularly necessary.
Cryss last blog post..Gluttony, eggnog, implosions: ask your mama how she durrin!
@Miss Britt: Hanging out is not THE defining factor, but it’s up there for me! And you might be right, maybe I have too many rules about friendship, but they served me well up to this point.
@Avitable: That’s all right, we don’t have to agree on everything.
But to answer your question: Friends I had in high school that I don’t see frequently are considered acquaintances.
@Crys: “Blossoming in the warm rain”. I like that.
Like I said, I think it’s a matter of definition. To me, “I like you” = “I like you”, not “I like you” = “I’m your friend forever”.
I have internet friends I would consider real-life friends as well, but I’m pretty free with the friendship… But I agree in a way that “i like you” doesn’t = “i’m your friend”.
And I am almost done my christmas shopping – huzzah! Because knowing there are only 24 days until Christmas is a very frightening thought indeed…
suzes last blog post..winter is so much prettier downtown…
I think it’s a valid question. I think you have the right to define friends in whichever way you see fit.
That being said, I don’t disqualify the internets as friends. I have “met” a few lovely people via my blog that I correspond with regularly and am absolutely dying to meet irl. Would I call them my friends, yeah I would. I use them as a sounding board for advice, I care about what happens to them, I know more about what’s going on with them than some people I call friends locally.
I admit, having the option to see people irl, has a lot going for it. But it isn’t the be all and end all for me…
xo
Princess of the Universes last blog post..Princesses are Not Necessarily Classy…
I think…well, maybe you were thrown a bit because she asked you to be her BFF. I don’t think I’ve heard of anyone asking that specifically since high school, maybe even younger. If someone asked me that, I’d be like…uhhhh. Mostly because, like it was said earlier, a close friendship comes naturally and the words never really have to be spoken and the question should never have to be asked.
That being said, I have more than one “best friend”. In fact, I am not sure that I believe you can only have one best friend because each person that I love the most fulfills a different friendship need. And *that* being said, about half of those natural BFFs that I have? Met them online. At some point in time, I didn’t know Britt in person…or Dave, or Shiny, or even my friend Foo who I’ve known the longest. They all came into my life because of the Internet and from there it blossomed.
Sometimes it’s easier to have some of my best friends be online and not tangible ALL of the time because I feel that there are less chances for irritation…*snort*
Hillys last blog post..Snackie Sunday #70: Fight!
I’d have to disagree with you, Michel. I have developed some of my closest friendships through online connections. Consider that many of us share our innermost thoughts with each other through this forum…we share parts of ourselves that we’d never consider sharing face to face. I’m not saying that is always the healthiest way to be, but I do believe that it is definitely appropriate to consider your online friends as true friends.
Gingers last blog post..Feel Good Friday: Ultimate RickRoll!!!!
Aw shit. So we’re not friends. And here I thought we had something special. That’s alright – I’m not a fan of Canadian’s anyway.
Seriously though, I can honestly say that in my real life, I have, at the very most, ten friends, all of whom are co-workers or people I’ve met at church. One of those is my best friend. Three of those are people I can go to with almost anything. I’ve got about eight internet friends, most of which I’d call “best friend”. Like Hilly said, each one serves a different purpose, would be the easiest way of defining why more than one best friend is possible.
I’ve got people that I know, online and off, that I “like” but am not friends with them. In real life, it just means that when our mutual friend invites us both to an event, we hang out, have a good time, send a MySpace comment saying “It was nice to see you.” and move on with our lives. In online life, it means I read their blog when I remember to, laugh at whatever they said and then click on over to the people who really matter to me – the people I WOULD drive two hours to see just because they had a really bad week and need a hug and some girl time; I’d freak out my family and fly to Florida to meet up with; the ones who I’d invite to sleepover so they can knock the hotel bill off of their budgetary guidelines for BlogHer. Not everyone achieves this status but the ones who make it – I hold ‘em close.
::group hug::
Sheila (Charm School Reject)s last blog post..Love Don’t Live Here Anymore
I have had three, count them on one hand three best friends in my life, My one true best friend who I have known since I was six just married my ex-husband in May. Our (my ex and mine) teo children informed my this weekend that they (ex and ex-bff) are “expecting”. Now I am not one hold grudges but this whole situation has greatly effected my beliefs in friendship, jaded much? I think that the friends you make…wether online or off should be taken with a grain of salt and never under any circumstances be left alone with other loved ones…LOL
Alexandras last blog post..And she has a name….
@Suze: Hooray for early shopping!
@Princess of the Universe: Food for thought, that’s for sure.
@Hilly: I think it’s semantics here, but you know to me “best” means “just one”. You’re either the best or not… And for the record I do believe that you can become friends with people you meet on the Internet, but it’s not because someone reads your blog that you are automatically friends.
@Ginger: Oh, you can disagree, that’s for sure! Like I wrote, I don’t believe I hold the Truth about friendship. I think the key word in your comment is “developed”.
@SheilaCSR: We’re not friends yet, but you’re getting there. And because you’re my Internet Wife.
@Alexandra: Wow, that sucks!
What, we have to buy x-mas gift? Dam, last friday I spent all my x-mas gift at the CH game. I bougth 3 beers…and 150$ later, I was still sober.
Tu déchires mec
THE BROTHER: Ah, I see you got the small beers.
It’s always awkward when people feel much closer to you than you do to them. Isn’t it? And how do you say. “You know I really don’t want you in my life that much.” (Maybe exactly like that. I just have issues with hurting people so I tend to draw it out far longer than I should.)
Anyway, I have some people that I am very close to, then there are people I hang out with. I suppose they are all friends. I just try not to get hung up on the titles. However, the people that truly matter, you don’t ever let go of…
Nats last blog post..Nothing in particular.
I disagree with you, too. Limiting myself to friends that are in my local proximity would leave me virtually friendless. The bulk of my friendships were made online and I don’t distinguish between them and “offline” friends. I’m not saying that I’m friends with everyone whose blog I read…that’d be insane. But I do have a lot of friends.
I’m a modern man, though. I would indeed help out my online friends when they’re in need…I have before and I will again. Even though I’m fortunate to live close to people like Adam and Britt, I’d gladly put you up for a week if you came my way. I’d donate money if you were down and out. And I’d chat with you on the phone any time.
That makes you more than an acquaintance to me. Like I said, I’m not friends with EVERYONE. But I’ve found that the Internet has really expanded my definition of friendship. Some of my very best friends came about from the Net.
Karls last blog post..How I Slept With Three Gorgeous Women But Got No Sex
@Nat: I have issues hurting people too, I’m very confrontational by nature. Fortunately for me, it doesn’t happen that often that I have to put words to this kind of situation.
@Karl: Karl, I would do the same for you in a heartbeat. You’re more than an acquaintance to me, and I highly suspect that’s because we spent more time together in Orlando doing “regular stuff”, like hanging black tablecloth at Adam’s place and going to a movie. So, when are you coming over?
I’d love to come up. Next year, perhaps.
Karls last blog post..How I Slept With Three Gorgeous Women But Got No Sex