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Penguins.

I was going to have my very first “Ask Canadia’s Blogger” thingy today, and it was going to be a Special All-Janelle Edition, but for some mysterious reason I couldn’t get in touch with Janelle yesterday to confirm her questions and ask a few clarification questions of my own. Next time!

So instead I’ll do another new thing that i’ve never done before: Ask for your help!

So tell me Digital Denizens: What would you like to see more of on this blog? Less of? Any specific topic you think I should tackle? Do you like the direction I’m taking? Any and all comments welcome really.  

And as an aside: How did you find this blog? How do you read me (web, feeder, RSS, other)?

Many thanks!

I steal from bloggers with rich content and give the reworked posts to you poor readers.

There’s a whole website dedicated to stealing memes from other people’s sites and posting them, but I don’t need that, I just swing by Avitable’s place. This one is apparently called The Woman’s Work 45 Meme, and I thought it might be fun to do, since I’m not a working woman and all.

(See, I almost didn’t have to change the previous paragraph!)

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing?
It depends on the blue cheese, really. Some of them are really nasty, but some of them are very good. I love blue cheese dressing with chicken wings.

2. Favorite late night snack?
Single Malt Scotch. I guess that’s not a snack per say. I love my dad’s rice pudding. I would eat that all the time if I could.

3. Do you own a gun?
I own many guns. A hot glue gun, a caulking gun, a pricing gun, a water gun, and a very nice midnight black Magnum .357 special enforcer edition with laser sight. I’m kidding about the Magnum of course, I’m Canadian! I don’t even own a hunting rifle. I almost bought one from my dad, but I wasn’t quick enough.

4. What’s your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop?
My regular thing at Starbucks is a Venti White Mocha Americano. But I’ve been known to try other things, as long as it’s full of Espresso.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
If I had doctor appointments, I might get nervous before them. I went for a series of shots before my trip to Africa, and it wasn’t a big deal. You all rave about free health care, but you get what you pay for people!

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
I like the expensive kind, all pure beef and all that stuff. They’re delicious with ketchup and mayonnaise, or with Dijon Mustard.

7. Favorite Christmas song?
Elf’s Lament, by the Barenaked Ladies.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
See question 4. Or 2 depending on the morning.

9. Can you do push-ups?
Hahahahahahaha! I can do more than one, so yes.

10. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
My wedding ring, but that’s because it’s the only piece of jewelry I own.

11. Favorite hobby?
Reading / Roleplaying games / Surfing the Weeb.

12. Do you have A.D.D.?
I sold my Advanced Dungeon & Dragons stuff to buy 3.x books. Ha! Seriously, I might. But I don’t think I… Ohhhh shiny! No kidding, I’m fairly anal-retentive.

13. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
I can’t stop making jokes, even at the most innapropriate times. I’m trained to care for people, but I sometimes choose not to.

14. The last disease you contracted?
A nasty ear infection brought on by excessive cleaning with Q-Tips.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.
A. Wow, blogging can really help me keep track of the diseases I contracted. 
B. Jon & Kate plus 8 are renewing their vows in Hawaii? I hope Jon pushes Kate off a cliff.
C. “I hear the secrets that you keep, when you’re talking in your sleep”. That song is stuck in my head.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
Diet Pepsi no caffeine, Single Malt Scotch, Espresso-based drinks. And water if my Chiro is reading this.

17. Current worry right now?
What am I going to do about Christmas? We spent a lot of money on the house, on winter tires and our bank account is severly bleeding. I told kids that we might have to cut back on Christmas gifts and they said: “It’s okay, we’ll just take what Santa brings”. Le major sigh.

18. Current hate right now?
Three-way tie: Mondays / Winter / Head Lice (aka the Minor Plague).

19. Favorite place to be?
Dominican Republic. Please.

20. How did you ring in the New Year?
I don’t remember. I think we watched TV and had some Champagne.

21. Like to travel?
Yes and no. I love to travel, but I don’t like pooping in public places.

23. Do you own slippers?
Nope. I own Crocs.

24. What color shirt are you wearing?
Black. It’s my “My other t-shirts are funnier” t-shirt.

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Never slept on satin sheets. *wiggle eyebrows* 

26. Can you whistle?
Only when pushed past my boiling point. 

27. Favorite singer/band?
Barenaked Ladies.

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor?
I would most likely not. I don’t tink I can scheme enough to win the show. Then again, anything’s possible. Who wouldn’t trust the cuddly fat guy?

29. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Whatever was on the radio when I woke up. I have a “song of the day” thing, where I will sing a part of the first song I hear in the morning whenever possible. On my recent trip to Orlando, I sang “I love you just the way you are” to my boss, sent him emails with lyrics of the song and just blurted out lyrics for no apparent reason. He laughed, and that’s why I like my job.

30. Favorite girl’s names?
Zoé, Cassandra, Raphaelle.

31. Favorite boy’s name?
Isaac, Wolfgang, Elvis.

32. What’s in your pocket right now?
My hand, because I’m looking for whatever’s in my pocket, and there’s nothing but lint and some change. Oh look, I made a PocketCT reference!

33. Last thing that made you laugh?
My 10 year old Zoé is in love with Bill from Tokio Hotel. I bug her that Bill looks like a toilet brush. Here’s a shot of her school agenda:

 But it’s a curse to have a dad with mad Photoshop Skills.

I put my drawing on top of hers. She didn’t notice yet, I wonder how long it will take. See, i amuse myself with next to nothing: I only require a 1,000$ photo editing software and 2,500$ computer.

34. Like your job?
Yes I do, even if it’s sometimes difficult or less than perfect. That’s why they pay me the big bucks, right? Right?

36. Do you love where you live?
Yes, I do. Especially now that we renovated the outside and a good chunk of the inside. And I love living near Ottawa, it’s the perfect mix of peaceful green spaces, cultural happenings, pubs & restaurants.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two. One 32″ HDTV in the living room, and our old 10 year old 27″ in the kids playroom. The 27″ is slowly dying, so we might have to get a new one soon. Damn, add that to the spending axtravaganza.

38. Who is your loudest friend?
I don’t have loud friends. I’m not friends with loud people.

39. Do you drive the speed limit or speed?
I was following the flow of traffic officer! I might sometimes be confused between kilometers and miles per hour. No big deal really!

40. Does someone have a crush on you?
I don’t know, do you? A friend of mine has this whole theory that I’m the Alpha male and that lots of people crush on me, but I don’t believe it.

41. What is your favorite book?
Wow, just one? The Delicate Dependency.

42. What is your favorite candy?
Peanut brittle. Is that candy?

43. Favorite Sports Team?
NHL’s Montreal Canadians.

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night?
Trying to quit Twitter so I could go to bed.

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
That dream was really cool. Why did I have to wake up already?

It’s Monday. Stole this from the Dawg & Poppy show.

More like bull.

Crazy e-mail

I think e-mail should be banned on Fridays afternoon, especially an hour or so before closing time. Here’s an excerpt of an e-mail I received this Friday at 16:07: Emphasis mine. Names changed to protect the innocents.

“On Monday, November 17 we will be doing some upgrades to the DB2 Test Environment. Between 8:00 AM and 10:00 AM, testing will be taking place and access to applications will be intermittent

Upon the completion of the upgrade, we ask that you verify the functionality of the applications. If you encounter any issues, please contact Crazy Person who sends an e-mail and then runs right out of the office, Senior Database administrator at extension XXXX or by email at CrazyPersonWhoSendsInsaneEmail@4onFriday.dum .”

WTF? Srsly?

I guess it doesn’t matter that the core of all my services rely on the DB2T environment. Monday between 8 and 10, odds are none of my 40,000 users will be able to access any of our services – bah, it’s only all the online courses offered at the university during peak exam time, it’s not that important right? – but I then have to verify if all my stored procedures will keep pulling the informations I need from the DB2T environment. If they don’t, I guess they’ll roll back their mystery upgrade, right? How long will that take? So Monday morning, I’m forwarding the support line to extension XXXX. Let’s see how crazy person enjoys getting hundreds of calls.

Lice killer!

I’m a mad lice killer. Apparently, my daughter is an extremely nice host for lice. We’ve been pulling larvae and eggs until 2:00 am Saturday morning, and most of Saturday.

Meh to the power of 10.

I love my Meh shirt, but after the last few days, I’m definitely getting this.

The only bad thing about this is that it only comes in a 6oz size. Maybe I’ll get 4.

This post is inspired by a Tweet sent by @Pipper7600, aka Janelle from JunkFood4theSoul.com. Since she used some of my Tweets as inspiration for one of her posts, I thought it would be only fair that I use one of her to write a post of my own. Like Janelle said, if this makes you mad in any way, send a message to Janelle.

Here’s the essence of the Tweet: “What do you mean you can’t do that? Well in America, we can do that!”

(Emphasis mine)

Let’s step into the classroom, shall we?

All right class, who can point out America on the map?

I’m assuming you’re raising your hands now. Since I can’t pick one of you to actually point to something, let’s do this:

If you pointed there…

You’d be wrong. I tricked you. There’s no “America” on the world map. There’s many Americas. You have North America, South America and on some maps, Central America.

If you pointed to there:

or there:

you’re just weird. Please see me after class.

Back to the Americas. Can someone explain this to me? If you live in… you’re a…

Canada… Canadian.
Mexico… Mexican
Brazil… Brazilian
Argentina…Argentinian

But if you live in the United States you’re an American. Why?

This would be like saying that if you live in Italy you’re an European. It’s not really wrong, but you agree that it’s not really right either, right? If you live in Italy you’re an Italian. There’s not one Italian walking around saying to a German “Well, in Europe we can do that!”. So, for you “Americans” out there, tell me: Are the United States not good enough for you? Not big enough? Huh?

In truth I tell you, I am also in America, and that makes me an American. I’m retaking America from you, Unitedstatsians! A-ha, you’re Unitedstatsians now! Spread the word. Blame Janelle.

Well, it’s now Thursday 23:40 (SheilaCSR: That’s 11h40 p.m.) and i still have no post for Friday.

So I present to you, a day of Tweets:

– okay, I have 28 minutes to come up with a blog post. Any ideas? 11 minutes ago from web   

– @pipper7600 About the BB#: use my gmail account! 11 minutes ago from web in reply to — pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 That would be “Poisoned Apple”, right? Jägermeister, Sour Apple Pucker, Cranberry Juice. I had a few of those. 13 minutes ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 Awwww. Well, when you’re on KArl, I’ll call in. 24 minutes ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 Thanks Lady! I thought you were going to call in? 30 minutes ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– G’night people! Thanks for listening in tonight. See you later! 32 minutes ago from web     

– @pipper7600 it starts now! about 2 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– Showtime! about 2 hours ago from web     

– @pipper7600 Not in love with Andy at this point, maybe that’ll change things for me? about 2 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 I’m getting ready to connect to Karl’s radio show, that’s why I’m not watching. about 2 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 Aaaaaargh! I said not Tweet about the Office! LOL! about 2 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @pipper7600 Don’t tweet about the Office, I want to watch it after Karl’s show! about 2 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– All right, I’m outta here! Talk to you later! about 7 hours ago from web     

– 10 minutes and they let me out of the cell! Woohoo! about 7 hours ago from web     

– Oh no! Twitter was down for 10 minutes what did I miss? I mean besides 10 minutes of work because I kept hitting F5? about 9 hours ago from web     

– @Blogography I would say it’s a tie. about 10 hours ago from web in reply to Blogography     

– @ohsarahjoy I love you too! Isn’t that great? And speaking of greatness: http://www.blogography.com/… about 10 hours ago from web in reply to ohsarahjoy     

– Hey I found a great blog entry: http://www.blogography.com/… about 10 hours ago from web     

– @pipper7600 LOL, nice post! about 12 hours ago from web in reply to pipper7600     

– @GingerSnaps Mmmm. What’s up? about 12 hours ago from web in reply to GingerSnaps

– Ah, freezing rain. Nature’s way of saying: “You should’ve stayed home you poor bastard”. about 14 hours ago from web  

– No more “delete” on Direct Messages? Why? about 15 hours ago from web     

– Wow. Morning all. Where’s the light? about 18 hours ago from TwitterBerry 

In other news, I was on Karl’s Radio Show yesterday. It was pretty cool, but if you listened in, you know I have to buy a truckload of books now. Thanks to all the chatters, and hello to my new Twitter followers!

23:52 and I’m done. I can go watch the Office now. I heard Michael is coming to Canada!

In one hour!

SecondHand Radio with Karl and special guest me!

Join us!

 Kanada on Karl!: Hey, I’ll be on SecondHand Karl tonight. Of course I mean on his radio show, not on him. Call in and make fun of my accent! Ask me if I have [this] in Canada. You know you want to.

 Once again, I have the perfect ass: My car’s rear bumper is now fixed. Rejoice!

 Booze: Thrice today I alluded that I was a drunk, and I got weird reactions. Having my morning espresso, LovelyWife said “Nice breakfast”. I replied: “Two ounces of Cognac can really kick start your day!”. Her reaction: “Are you serious?” (she was). Later on, I’m telling that story to my boss, and after my Cognac line he cuts me and says: “What’s wrong with that?”. During a meeting, a coworker asks me: “When you receive my e-mails, you must think not another stupid question, right?”. I replied: “Actually I thought: Gee, I think I’m low on Scotch, better run to the store”. Everyone laughed. I think I have a free pass to be a drunk, and that sorta scares me a little.

 Food critiques: LovelyWife cooks 96.99537% of the time. She loves to buy cookbooks, magazines, look online for recipes. She changes and adapts recipes all the time. At dinner, she asked the kids what their favorite meal was. If they could have any meal in the whole wide world, what would they have? My son: Dad’s macaroni and cheese! My daughter: Dad’s volcano cakes! My wife: Making that face. You know the one. Now I apparently I have to cook dinner once a week – thanks kids! Is it my fault that I don’t burn things?

 A felon, moi? : I am totally stealing this from Cortejo. Answer the following question, then if you want, post it to your own blog and see how many crimes you get accused of. If you saw ME in a police car, what would you think I got arrested for?

In pure Call of Cthulhu tradition, I’ll keep the last bullet for myself for when the actual madness comes.

Here we go again.

I’m back at work, fully regenerated. Here’s a recap of my 4-day weekend.

Saturday: Got up at 8:00, took a shower and gave a lift to the airport to the Beaster. Drove back home and spent the rest day Twittering and Stumbling Upon stuff. Killed a bottle of Dalwhinnie Distiller’s Edition. Wow, that was productive.

Sunday: Got up at 1:15, read some blogs, commented on some blogs, watched some PVR’d shows. Went back to bed at 3:00. Started the day at 7:00, took a shower and went grocery shopping with the family. We hunted for a bit for a guitar Hero World Tour kit, without success. Since my D&D game got cancelled, spent the rest of the day reading, Twittering and Stumbling Upon stuff, until we discovered that the kids had headlice. Went to the clinic, bought some Nix and proceeded to wash everything we own, shampoo the kids. I shaved my son’s head – LovelyWife was a little mad but my son was so happy! Went to bed around 22:30.

Monday: Woke up at 2:00. Watched some TV, read some blogs and went back to bed at 4:45. Got up at 6:45, took the kids to school and dropped the car at the body shop for repairs. Came back home at 7:30 and spent 7 hours cleaning the house. Remind me not to take time off when I’m all by myself and i have no car to go anywhere. But the house is beautiful now! Picked-up the car at 15:00, drove back home and cleaned some more. LovelyWife came home around 16:30 and complained that I left a garbage bag near the door at 16:31. Took a shower. Read and Twittered. Went to bed around 22:00.

Tuesday: Once again, woke up at 1:45 (stuffed nose). Watched some TV, PVR’d stuff and read some blogs. Went back to bed around 4:40. At 5:20 I shut off the Blackberry alarm and went back to sleep. Got up at 9:45, had breakfast and took a shower. Went shopping with LovelyWife at 10:30. We didn’t buy anything. Went to see Eagle Eye (meh) and had some fries at the theater. Came home, picked up the kids from school and had dinner. Kids had a letter telling us that they have headlice at school. Letter was dated last Thursday. Good to know. Third round of head checks revealed no critters in kids hair. Watched hockey game (Mtl won 4-0).

It’s now 22:17 and I’m debating if I should just go to bed or peak at my work e-mail. I think I’ll be cool and just go to bed.

And that my friends, is the life of a Rockstar.