I always bug Lovely Wife about her eyesight. Stop making that face, I always do it in a loving way.
On our way to work today, Lovely Wife saw a hare from 100 yards. So of course, I compared her to George Constanza, able to squint and spot a dime on the other side of the street.
Now if you’re familiar with Seinfeld, you know that as George says that, he bites into an onion that he thought was an apple. Hilarity.
I had to wait all day for my onion. It came around 19h30. We’re driving to go show the new car to my friend the Beaster.
Oh, look he’s out in his driveway! Lovely Wife says.
Except that the Beaster is thirty something, 5’6″, somewhat muscular, black hair, goatee, smile. The guy Lovely Wife was looking at is close to 80 years old, 6’5″, asparagus thin, white hair, clean shaven, looks pissed. He was walking with a cane. In fact, he looked like Bob Barker with a deep orange tan.
That’s my wife. The government still thinks it’s safe for her to drive.
