He said: “It pisses me off when you tell me that you will be back around a certain time and you get here three hours later.”

She heard: “I don’t want you to go out with your friends.”

He said: “You could’ve called to let me know you were coming back later.”

She heard: “You need to tell me exactly what you did with those people because I don’t trust you.”

Of course it went downhill from there.

She has every right to be mad that someone would prevent her from going out with her friends, and ask for a play-by-play of her activities.

But he’s not that someone. He says what he means, and he means what he says. He has a perfect track record at that.

So he’s still pissed.

And she still thinks he doesn’t want her to go out with her friends.

Everyone remembers this post, right?

Oh wait. I just looked and only TWO of you commented on that brilliant post. What gives? I’ll give you a minute to read the other post, comment and come back here.

All right, moving along.

Yesterday was CutieDaughter’s first full day of school. LovelyWife dropped her at school in the morning – that backpack was so heavy I almost couldn’t lift it! – and she was to take the bus to get back home at night.

The bus ride is very short. Provided you don’t forget to get off the bus at some point.

Click to embiggify

• Green is CutieDaughter school
• Red is our house.
• Pink is where she got off.

This one shows the bus route.

Click to embiggify

• Green is CutieDaughter school
• Red is our house.
• Pink is where she got off.

Now if there was ever a doubt that CutieDaughter is LovelyWife’s blood…

Can’t make a good sandwich without being creeped out.

AUGUST is almost over. I haz a sad.

BIG BROTHER was not on because of the Emmys. I haz another sad.

CHELSEA. We went to the old Chelsea Market to get fresh veggies over the weekend. We got there a little late, but it was okay. We’ll go earlier next week.

DRUNKS kept me up awake sunday morning from 3am to 5am. If they do that again next week, I might get angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

EMMYS. I watched the Emmys while reading comments on Twitter. It was missing “Shiny’s made up facts about the Emmys” like we had during the Olympics. How cool was that?

FLYING in! Friends of ours we haven’t seen in a while are flying in at the end of September. I sense some time off coming…

GNOCCHI (home made) were made on Friday night. That sh*t takes a long time to make, let me tell you.

HBO. After watching previously mentionned Emmys, I realized that I need to get HBO.

I’LL BE BACK! I got sucked into a Schwarzenegger marathon on Sunday.

JEWEL. Is it just me or does Jewel looks like she’s not all there when she sings? I mean she looks like her hair caught on fire when she was little and they extinguished the fire by hitting it with a shovel. I loved her so much in Firefly.

KIDS are sad the summer is over.

LAWN needs to be mowed.

MOM is back home. I’m amazed at the miracles of modern medecine. Of course, it might just be all the gnocchi I made.

NAP. LovelyWife took a 3-hour nap on Sunday.

OUTDOOR activity: We hiked around Pink Lake. Pictures to follow.

PLATES were bought. We’ve been looking for rectangular plates for a while, and managed to find some. Sweet!

QUIET. I need to find a quieter computer, as my home computer’s HDD is making a noise that reminds me of a blender on pulse. This does not look good. I’m half kidding, all my data is on an external HDD, so if the computer dies, I just need to reinstall the OS.

ROULETTE Scotch glasses. I like them. A lot.

SOFT. I gained some weight while on vacation. Time to do something about it. I downloaded the C25K App. Gotta start running now. Or tomorrow. Tommorow-ish.

T-FAL frying machine. We finally got one and made awesome French Fries with mussels on Saturday night. This machine uses next to no oil, so I don’t have to feel too bad if I get some French Fries from time to time.

USED. My living room chair was delivered two weeks early (Yay!) but is broken (Boo!). The frame is crooked. I suspect this was a return of a used chair, as mine was supposed to be built today and delivered on the 16th.

VERDICCHIO. The wine we had with the mussel was delicious.

WTF? I went back to the furniture store to ask for a chair repair/replacement, and the manager started by offering me 10$ to “buy some washers at the Home Depot” to “Even out the legs”. I was not impressed, and told him so. If I’m paying 600$ for a chair, it will not look like ass the day I get it.

X-MAS. Less than four months before X-Mas. start shopping people! Don’t complain to me on December 23 that I didn’t warn you early enough.

YIKES! Zoé is starting High School today.

ZOÉ is starting High School today.

I see death as a sort of ever-changing blob of goo that moves slowly down my family tree.

This is my family tree. Well, just my side of the family.

All my grand-parents are dead. For years now, Death has been hovering just above my parent’s level. Like this.

As soon as Death claims someone at a lower level, each Zone shifts down, and the reaction of people learning about a person’s death change accordingly. For example, if one of my kids was to die today, it would be tragic. If I was to die today, it would be unexpected.

So my mom’s in the hospital. As you’re reading this she is under the knife for a second angioplasty following her second, third and fourth heart attack in the last six months. Death is slowly creeping it’s way down. I don’t want Death to shift down.

Not because I’m afraid to be Next in line. Because I don’t want my kids to get to the Unexpected zone just yet.

Sometimes* I’m amazed at the kind of stuff I can troubleshoot. For example:

Client: Hi, I’m having a [bleep] issue with this [bleep] USB key.

Me: Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Client: …

Me: All right, what’s up?

Client: I’m trying to put [bleep] files on it, but it won’t [bleep] let me.

Me: Can you remove the key from the USB port, wait 10 seconds, put it back in and tell me what’s going on.

Client: …removing [bleep] key… … [bleep] it back in… …that [bleep] Bluetooth thing pops up again… …nothing [bleep] else happens. [bleep].

Me: Sounds like this is not a USB key. Is it possible that it’s a receiver for a wireless mouse or keyboard?

Client: [BLEEP]. Thank you. I’ve been [bleep] with that [bleep] thing for the whole morning! [bleep]! [bleep]!

Sigh.

*Okay, all the time.

This is pretty much what a client showed me yesterday to explain the project he wanted me to do for him.

I’m not kidding.

Remember this?

Well, it looks like we’ve now completely given up on getting any French translation right.

Bienvenido a la universidad de Canadá!

So “Les Jeux du Québec” are happening right in my backyard.

You’d think that would be a good thing. You know, “olympic” games right near my house. Walking distance. A stone’s throw as the old folks say.

The red dot is LeSombre’s Castle, the blue dot is the tent of DOOM.
Google says it’s about 200m / 600ft between the dots.

The problem I have – because I’m old – is that the city, in its infinite wisdom, decided to make a special ByLaw allowing the coaches and volunteers (and most probably some athletes) to party until 2:00 am. To the excruciating sound of really really bad disco music cranked up all the way to twelve.

That’s two in the frakkin’ morning.

That’s twelve as in even higher than Spinal Tap’s eleven.

Every.

Single.

Frakkin’.

Night.

So I’m up until 2:30 every single frakkin’ night since last Thursday. Yesterday I went over there to ask the DJ when his little party would stop, and upon arriving on the site I was greeted by a city cop who informed me of said special bylaw. Apparently I was not the only one coming over to ask about the partying. The cop wished me courage, as it will continue until this Friday.

The biggest problem I have with this can be expressed with this handy Venn graph:

You’re laughing because it’s true. Also because you don’t live here.

So I’m thinking that since I can’t sleep, I’ll get myself a Vuvuzela and I’ll go encourage my mayor to revise his position on the ByLaw, from 11pm to 2 am until the end of the games.

Who’s with me?

I have not posted anything really significant in the last two months, and you’re getting bullets. Lots of them.  Covering the last two months. Seriously. Enjoy!

Real-Life Birthdays I missed:

• My Dad had a birthday, and I didn’t do any funny or easy post. Sorry Dad – I still love you.
• My Brother (@mightyBEN) also had a birthday, and I didn’t do anything at all. Well, I did get him a Mighty Mugg Iron Man Mark VI thingy, so that totally makes up for it.
• I had a birthday, and didn’t post about it here. But you guys made my day on Twitter and Facebook. Snif.
• I’m sure I missed a lot of on-line Birthdays too… I’m sorry.

Things I have done / not done in the last two months that are blog-worthy but that I didn’t blog about:

• I was invited to many beers and I didn’t go. Damn.
• I took a second wine-tasting class. Remember when I tried to blog about the first one and then got a virus on the computer? Good times.
• I got a Nexus Card, so I can now cross the border without standing in line for hours. Okay, minutes but still. By the way, I look like a giant on that picture.
• I thought about going to blog out lout and didn’t go. It was right in my backyard. Well, figuratively.
• I went to Orlando for a conference.
• While in Orlando for said conference, I was upgraded to a Royal Suite at no extra cost. Awesome!
• Renewed my Costco membership.
• I went on Sparks Street for the annual Ottawa RibFest. Yum!
• Drove CutieDaughter to cheerleading camp.
• Bought myself a new Canon EOS Rebel XSi, and took a lot of pictures.
• Took the Zadorables to Aventures Laflèche.
• Changed the layout of this blog, and went back to the original. Many times. That explains the messed-up sidebar on the right.

People I met in the last two months that I didn’t tell you about:

• While in Orlando, I met with the Justice League as it was forming. That totally makes me the Martian Manhunter. And the steak was not bad at all.

Things I’m doing now that may or may not be blog-worthy:

• I’m on vacation! I’ve been off work for seven days and I only had to reply to 6 emails and have one phone conversation at this point. I say this is not bad, but let’s see if I can make that even better.

So there you have it.

What have you been up to in the last two months?